


Quantic Kids Group Chat

by Zygella



Series: Quantic Kids GC [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Because I love GC fics, But it's funny probably, CRACK AS HELL, F/F, F/M, HawkMoth joins at chapter 22, Inverse Squad comes in around... fuck chapter 15? Idk, dumb shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 07:52:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 14,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11226573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zygella/pseuds/Zygella
Summary: Group Chat fic with all ur favs + HawkMoth + the INVERSE SQUAD!!! (Spotted Misfortune, Chat Blanc, Kitsune, Tortue Toxique, and Fury Wasp!!)





	1. Mistakes were made

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm alive and not working on any meaningful stories like I should but I love all the Miraculous gc fics and wanted to make one of my own so CREDIT to all those lovely people who write their own gc fics for the idea bless their souls
> 
> This kinda takes place in the HTS,WTS universe so Mari is Ladybug, Adrien is Chat, Alya is Renard Rouge (Not Volpina bc im original), Nino is Jade Turtle and Chloe is Queen Bee and they all know each other's identities okay thanks
> 
> ALSO QUICK EXPLANATION most of my ideas come from my Instagram group chat composed of me, Wayzzmum, Ladyncir, Kuiper.Glitch and Viktorswife on Instagram lol. So yep. Go check them out too

_**Ladybug-off added Hot Mess, Ninja Turtle, Bitch Bee and Foxy Mama to the group.** _

_**Ladybug-off renamed the group to 'Quad Squad'.** _

Ladybug-off: ey losers

Ninja Turtle:Marinette you realize there's 5 of us in here not 4

Ninja Turtle: making "quad" squad wrong

Ladybug-off: I didn't ask for your opinion turtle soup

**_Ninja Turtle has changed their username to 'Turtle Soup'_ **

Turtle Soup:first of all, rude

Turtle Soup: second of all freedom of speech

Hot Mess:Nino this is France not America

Turtle Soup: adrien what the fuck we have free speech in France too

Ladybug-off: I already regret making this chat

Bitch Bee: why are furry porn and roadkill fighting already

Turtle Soup: I

Turtle Soup: DO NOT APPRECIATE BEING CALLED ROADKILL

Hot Mess: and I'm not furry porn wtf Chloe

Bitch Bee: adrien you wear a leather cat suit

Ladybug-off: ^

Turtle Soup: ^

Hot Mess: I hate all of you

Ladybug-off: I'm regretting this chat

Hot Mess: hi regretting this chat, I'm dad

Ladybug-off: did you just make a dad joke

Ladybug-off: IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SUBURBS

Bitch Bee: old meme

Ladybug-off: stfu chloe adrien made a fucking dad joke and you're worried about my meme

Hot Mess: but she's not worried about my meme

Hot Mess: she's chloe

Ladybug-off: ADRIeN AGRESTE

Turtle Soup: I love that 1 uncapitalized e in the middle of all those capital letters

Ladybug-off: eat a dick roadkill

Turtle Soup: I'M NOT ROADKILL

Bitch Bee: sure, and adrien's not furry porn

Hot Mess: I'M??? NOT FURRY PORN

Ladybug-off: what are you then

Hot Mess: I'm a dashingly handsome, amazingly dressed cat superhero.

Bitch Bee: BDSM kitty

Hot Mess: N O

Ladybug-off: hi a dashingly handsome, amazingly dressed cat superhero, I'm dad

Hot Mess: joke's on you you called me handsome and amazingly dressed

Ladybug-off: shut up dad joke

_** Hot Mess has changed their username to 'Dad Joke' ** _

Bitch Bee: way to go Marinette you've made it worse

Foxy Mama: what the hell is happening

Ladybug-off: Alya hold my purse im gonna pound furry porn into the floor

Dad Joke: hi gonna pound furry porn into the floor

Dad Joke: I'm dad


	2. Who's the boss (baby)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug-off: I'm the boss bitches  
> Ladybug-off: Without me this team would've died before it even started  
> Turtle Soup: For a boss you whine alot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't slept solid through the night in a week let's go for like 47 chapters in 24 hours
> 
> I kid but I'm suffering

Foxy Mama: guys there's an Akuma

Foxy Mama: guys

Foxy Mama: GUYS

Ladybug-off: I swear to everything if it's another akuma that got kicked out a bar or has alcohol powers I'm staying home

Ladybug-off: You non-bugs weren't there

Ladybug-off: Bee and I had our asses saved by Bleu Paon then had a hangover in the morning from the fumes

Ladybug-off: Stab me

Foxy Mama: Mari wtf get over here

Foxy Mama: dont leave Rouge hanging

Ladybug-off: Renard Rouge can handle herself stop stalling

Ladybug-off: Trixx if ur reading over Alya's shoulder force transform or something

Foxy Mama: trAitor

Ladybug-off: I hope the rest of u are already going

* * *

 

_ (14 minutes later) _

Turtle Soup: wait shit I was doing homework

Turtle Soup: Wayzz was sleeping

Turtle Soup: fuck

* * *

 

_(20 minutes later)_

Ladybug-off: I am

Ladybug-off: disappointed

Turtle Soup: I WAS DOING HOMEWORK

Bitch Bee: Mari that's kinda fair

Bitch Bee: the question is

Bitch Bee: where was Chat Noir in this fight

Ladybug-off: YEAH WHERE WAS MY CHATON

Ladybug-off: ADRIEN AGRESTE ANSWER YOUR PHONE

Ladybug-off: I AM YOUR BOSS

Ladybug-off: PICK

Ladybug-off: UP

Ladybug-off: YOUR

Ladybug-off: P H O N E

Dad Joke: yes ma'am

Ladybug-off: ADRIen

Turtle Soup: dude where were u

Dad Joke: I was sleeping and Plagg didn't find it important to wake me up and tell me there was an akuma out

Ladybug-off: the buzzing from our messages didn't wake you?

Dad Joke: I muted the chat

Ladybug-off: YOU MUTED MY CHAT??

Foxy Mama: oh boy we're doomed

Dad Joke: UNMUTING UNMUTING

Ladybug-off: good

Ladybug-off: I'm the boss bitches

Ladybug-off: without me this team would've died before it even started

Turtle Soup: for a boss you whine a lot

Ladybug-off: exCUSE ME

Turtle Soup: can I call you the boss baby

Ladybug-off: I AM N O T THE BOSS BABY

Ladybug-off: This is the highest offence I've taken

Ladybug-off: Nino i banish you from the Quantic Team

Turtle Soup: WHAT

Bitch Bee: guys can we not fight

Dad Joke: Chlo it's probably best you dont say anything

Foxy Mama: Yeah if this goes right we can all sit below the Eiffel watching Jade Turtle and Ladybug girl fighting

Dad Joke: I'll bring the popcorn

Bitch Bee: That actually sounds hilarious

Ladybug-off: Tikki says I'm not allowed to transform for the rest of the day save an emergency

Turtle Soup: Wayzz told me Kwamis don't have a choice

Ladybug-off: yeah but I'm not HawkMoth I dont abuse my child

Dad Joke: Of course you're not HawkMoth

Ladybug-off: adrien dont you dare

Dad Joke: you're Marinette

Ladybug-off: I'm breaking up with yOu

Dad Joke: :(

Foxy Mama: WAIT YOU TWO aRE DATING

Foxy Mama: AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME

Turtle Soup: again with that random lowercase letter do you guys accidently turn caps off then not bother to fix it afterwards

Bitch Bee: Nino why do you care

Turtle Soup: well miss boss baby did it firsr and now Alya so im wondering if it's a pattern or

Ladybug-off: I am not the fricken boss baby

Turtle Soup: ok boss baby

Foxy Mama: Trixx is cackling endlessly at this by the way

Dad Joke: Plagg is the same

Bitch Bee: Pollen says they have the same sense of humor

Foxy Mama: Marinette's gone quiet we should all be afraid

* * *

 

_(25 minutes later)_

Ladybug-off: NINO YOU FUCK WHY AREN'T YOU AT YOUR HOUSE

Turtle Soup: Alya was right

Turtle Soup: Mari was coming to kick my ass

Ladybug-off: Which one of u traitors are hiding him

Foxy Mama: What makes you think any of us have him

Dad Joke: Alya has him

Foxy Mama: ADRIEN WTF

Dad Joke: sorry gotta stay loyal to my lady

Ladybug-off: Chaton thank you <3

Dad Joke: <3

Foxy Mama: Okay 1 my ship is sailing

Foxy Mama: But 2 my best friend coming over to obliterate my boyfriend

Dad Joke: Mari won't actually kill him

Dad Joke: just horribly maim him

Foxy Mama: update Jade Turtle is cowering behind me talking about using Forcefield

Bitch Bee: Alya I will pay you to record that

Foxy Mama: oh? How much?? ;)

Foxy Mama: UPDATE SHE'S HERE

Foxy Mama: UPDATE LADYBUG'S PISSED AF

Bitch Bee: PLease record it

Dad Joke: Chloe maybe we should go over there and help out

Bitch Bee: are you sure, I dont think the public will just overlook all 5 of Paris' superheroes all at 1 random person's house

Dad Joke: Ladybug is gonna fucking kill him Chlo

Bitch Bee: fine

* * *

 

_ (1 hour later) _

**_ Ladybug-off has changed their username to 'The Boss (baby)' _ **

The Boss (baby): I am the Boss and dont you forget it

Turtle Soup: glad we settled on the meme though

Bitch Bee: y'all wild

Foxy Mama: agreed

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of this is probably shit but my dumb mind thinks it's funny


	3. Get a gmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dad Joke: Mari use a fucking computer  
> Goddess: n  
> Goddess: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna add a username key just in case if anyone loses track every chapter
> 
> The Boss (baby) - Marinette  
> Dad Joke - Adrien  
> Foxy Mama - Alya  
> Turtle Soup - Nino  
> Bitch Bee - Chloe

Foxy Mama: history project time to die

The Boss (baby): I'll bring Bleach Martinis we'll have a party

Foxy Mama: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS sHOTSHOTsSHOTS

Turtle Soup: babe pls

Dad Joke: What the hell is a bleach martini

The Boss (baby): the only reason im still alive

Dad Joke: mari I love you but bleach anything would kill you

Foxy Mama: SHIP

Foxy Mama: !!!!

The Boss (baby): where's my bug sister @ I need her to buy fancy shotglasses

Bitch Bee: we're literally underage i thought Ladybug was better than this

The Boss (baby): Bee pls

The Boss (baby): my queen

The Boss (baby): queen bee

Foxy Mama: do i spy some Ladybee

Bitch Bee: Alya you did not just make up a ship for me and mari

Dad Joke: ALYA YOU TRAITOR

Dad Joke: MARI IS MINE

Foxy Mama: mari can get with anyone honestly

Foxy Mama: I swear I've never seen a goddess but ive seen mari

The Boss (baby): aww Alya

_** The Boss (baby) has changed their username to 'Goddess' ** _

Turtle Soup: why is this chat heavily based on worshipping marinette

Dad Joke: because we are all blessed to have her shut your face

Goddess: I feel so loved <3

Foxy Mama: Mari x Adrien x Chloe x Alya

Foxy Mama: + Nino

_** Bitch Bee has renamed the group 'Madrialoe + Nino' ** _

Turtle Soup: what the fuck

_** Goddess has renamed the group 'Mari Worshippers + Roadkill' ** _

Turtle Soup: WHAT THE FUCK

Goddess: no offense but that ship name was ass

Foxy Mama: ok fair

Bitch Bee: foursome + that bitch Nino

Turtle Soup: WHY AM I BEING BULLIED

Foxy Mama: babe you make it too easy

Goddess: we have furry porn too

Dad Joke: blocked

Foxy Mama: wait guys we still have that history project

Dad Joke: okay give me your gmails we can make a google document

Goddess: fuck that i wanna bleach martini

Dad Joke: mari get a gmail

Goddess: ew no

Goddess: plus google docs disappeared on my phone idk why

Dad Joke: Mari use a fucking computer

Goddess: n

Goddess: no

Foxy Mama: riveting

Goddess: Alya my child let's go get wasted

Foxy Mama: Ladybug- the secret worst role model in the world

Goddess: MY HEART

Goddess: IS BROKEN

Foxy Mama: ill bring over 18 tubs of nutella instead

Goddess: BLESS

Dad Joke: that's the worst idea

Dad Joke: mari handles nutella like I handle catnip when im transformed

Dad Joke: aka horribly

Bitch Bee: how does mari get blitzed on nutella

Dad Joke: dont question it it just happens

Turtle Soup: party at mari's please

Goddess: yes all of you get your asses over here

Turtle Soup: YES

Dad Joke: but gmail and the history project

Goddess: kitty i love you but no just no

Goddess: i have croissants ready for the nutella im ready

Foxy Mama: mari im cuddling you and you have no choice

Dad Joke: I haven't had a legendary mari cuddle

Foxy Mama: CHILD

Foxy Mama: you've been starved of heaven get over here

Bitch Bee: I want to experience this

Foxy Mama: foursome cuddles + that bitch Nino

Turtle Soup: BABE

Foxy Mama: dw im dragging you into it too babe

Turtle Soup: abuse

Foxy Mama: we're doing this because we love you

Goddess: ^

Bitch Bee: ^

Dad Joke: ^

Turtle Soup: abusive love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still cant sleep solid through the night I wake up at least 3 times Im sad


	4. //loud wheezing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dad Joke: Nino help me  
> Dad Joke: chloe won't help stop them she'd join them  
> Bitch Bee: HELL YEAH IM JOINING THEM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how sleeping works anymore
> 
> Goddess- Marinette  
> Dad Joke- Adrien  
> Foxy Mama- Alya  
> Turtle Soup- Nino  
> Bitch Bee- Chloe

Turtle Soup: ADRIEN

Turtle Soup: holy shit we're doomed

Dad Joke: nino what did you do

Turtle Soup: WHAT DID /I/ DO????

Turtle Soup: WHO LET MARI AND ALYA OUT OF SIGHT RANGE

Dad Joke: oh shit they're not here

Dad Joke: chloe and I were staying over at Mari's overnight

Turtle Soup: I JUST WOKE UP TO LADYBUG AND RENARD ROUGE DRIVING A FUCKING CAR DOwN THE STREET BLASTING CUPCAKKE

Turtle Soup: IT'S 1 AM GENIUS

Bitch Bee: HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT

Dad Joke: fuck did they steal a car

Dad Joke: where did the car come from

Dad Joke: oh god we need to stop them

Turtle Soup: I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET MARI OR ALYA GET OUT AFTER EATING THAT MUCH NUTELLA YOU I D I O T

Dad Joke: fuck

Bitch Bee: //LOUD WHEEZING

Dad Joke: Nino help me

Dad Joke: chloe wont help stop them she'd join them

Bitch Bee: HELL YEAH I'M JOINING THEM

Turtle Soup: jesus christ I'm already chasing them

Turtle Soup: i left my phone on my desk while i transformed

Turtle Soup: god i really hope no one's awake to record this

Bitch Bee: hoNEY I SURE AM

Bitch Bee: I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE STREET BEING DEAD SILENT THEN LB AND RR COME BARRELING DOWN THE LANE WITH THE WINDOWS OPEN BLASTING MY IDOL

Bitch Bee: PLEASE TELL ME THEYRE PLAYING DEEPTHROAT

Turtle Soup: theyre playing it and singing very off key with it

Bitch Bee: AMSJDJDKDKSJSDB

Dad Joke: nino where are they guide me

Turtle Soup: just follow me on your staff we all have gps on each oth

Dad Joke: NINO??

Turtle Soup: THEY ALMOST FUCKIN RAN ME OVER

Turtle Soup: Alya screamed out 'Roadkill' as they swerved past me

Turtle Soup: THIS IS WHy wE DONT GIVE SUPERHEROES SHIT THAT GETS THEM BLITZED

Bitch Bee: holy fuck i see them

Bitch Bee: im making them pull over so i can get in the backseat

Dad Joke: CHLOE WHAT THE FUCK STop THEM

Bitch Bee: let me just joyride with my girls for 5 minutes

Turtle Soup: gee thanks for your help

Turtle Soup: update Queen Bee is now in the backseat with them

Dad Joke: fuckkkkkkkkk

Dad Joke: we need a plan

Dad Joke: one that doesn't involve the car or anything else being damaged

Turtle Soup: okay we need them to turn into a dead end street

Turtle Soup: if they get trapped I can Forcefield and keep them from backing up

Turtle Soup: then you pull them from the car

Dad Joke: aight

* * *

 

_(7 hours later)_

Goddess: holy shit I dont care how against the law that was last night was fucking amazing

Foxy Mama: thank god you're still a good driver even blitzed

Goddess: chloe did you record any of it

Bitch Bee: FUCK YES I DID

Bitch Bee: I also got a lot of shots where Jade Turtle almost became roadkill

_**Turtle Soup has changed their username to 'Roadkill'** _

Roadkill: that shit was not funny

Roadkill: you maniacs could've killed me

Roadkill: plus if anyone else had recorded any of that all of our superhero personas would be charged for law breaking

Goddess: Alya and I were preaching our religion though

Bitch Bee: im never deleting this video ever

Foxy Mama: Tikki is very mad at Mari

Foxy Mama: Trixx is just laughing

Foxy Mama: Tikki and Wayzz are like the only Kwami who try to stop their chosens from being insane

Dad Joke: she's not even wrong

Dad Joke: Plagg is angry at me because he didnt get to see any of it

Bitch Bee: TELL PLAGG TO WAKE UP I HAVE VIDEO

Dad Joke: let him sleep tf

Roadkill: im so glad i left last night or they'd still be driving around like insane asylum escapees

Goddess: 100% worth it

Foxy Mama: agreed

Bitch Bee: agreed

Roadkill: Im so disappointed in this team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have driver's ed this week again so i thought it would be funny to write what you should never do with a car


	5. I kid you not this actually happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goddess: lmao Chloe got in trouble for texting in class so she has to stay afterschool  
> Bitch Bee: this is bullshit  
> Bitch Bee: everything is bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter happened to me except for the being in trouble part I was at school for Driver's ed lmao
> 
> Goddess- Mari  
> Dad Joke- Adrien  
> Foxy Mama- Alya  
> Roadkill- Nino  
> Bitch Bee- Chloe

_**Bitch Bee has renamed the group 'fucking end me'** _

Roadkill: problem chloe

Bitch Bee: my entire life is a problem

Roadkill: okay but be specific

Goddess: lmao Chloe got in trouble for texting in class so she has to stay afterschool

Bitch Bee: this is bullshit

Bitch Bee: everything is bullshit

Dad Joke: so that's why we didn't see you leaving school

Bitch Bee: wait were you guys waiting for me

Foxy Mama: chlo you're our friend now and you're part of the Quantic Team

Foxy Mama: ofc we were waiting

Bitch Bee: marinette wasn't she already knew I had to stay

Goddess: oh right

Goddess: forgot to mention

Dad Joke: you let us stand there like idiots mari

Dad Joke: how could you

Goddess: <3

Foxy Mama: well good luck Chloe

Bitch Bee: i wanna burn this place down

* * *

 

_(7 minutes later)_

Bitch Bee: guys holy shit

Bitch Bee: Ive discovered that the school janitors or people who work there afterschool ride scooters in the halls and that's why there's those small lines on the floor that are never explained

Goddess: LUCKY BITCHES

Foxy Mama: beautiful

Bitch Bee: they also turn off like all the lights and it's dark

Roadkill: fantastic

Goddess: damn

Bitch Bee: Btw I hope y'all realized that I wasn't joking I witnessed an old man pushing himself along the hall on a tiny razor scooter

Goddess: WHEEZE

Foxy Mama: amazing

Dad Joke: what the fuck even is our school

Roadkill: it's a shitshow

* * *

 

_ (27 minutes later) _

Bitch Bee: My new aesthetic is school workers trying to get a wheelie on a tiny ass razor scooter

Goddess: I JUST SNORTED AND WATER CAME OUT OF MY NOSE

Bitch Bee: thanks I didn't realize I was that funny

Roadkill: oh shit chloe had an ego boost run

Bitch Bee: wow hate u too

Goddess: the mental image

Goddess: of some old dude on a tiny scooter for kids

Goddess: trying to pop a wheelie

Goddess: too strong for me

Foxy Mama: Mari's dead

Bitch Bee: too bad you guys didnt get to see it

Goddess: you could have recorded it

Bitch Bee: nah

Bitch Bee: it was kinda raining i rather not ruin my phone thx

Roadkill: fuck the phone

Dad Joke: chlo your dad is rich just buy a new one

Bitch Bee: how about no

_** Bitch Bee has changed their username to 'Queen Bitch' ** _

Foxy Mama: what

Queen Bitch: some guy who still hates me just called me that while I was walking out

Foxy Mama: who the fuck

Goddess: ill fight them

Roadkill: ^

Dad Joke: yeah only we're allowed to call you shit like that because it's friend insulting it's not real

Queen Bitch: wow thank s

Goddess: <3

Roadkill: <3

Dad Joke: <3

Foxy Mama: <3

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My school is ridiculous


	6. sick of this shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goddess: why just why  
> Goddess: why am I even invested in this bullshit  
> Dad Joke: for the porn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am  
> angry  
> i hate the fact i still care about this game franchise since it has such a terrible history but dude the plot is interesting  
> also some of the music is hot okay let me be
> 
> Goddess- Mari  
> Dad Joke- Adrien  
> Foxy Mama- Alya  
> Roadkill- Nino  
> Queen Bitch- Chloe

Goddess: what if I just

Goddess: die

Goddess: i honestly want death

Goddess: i cant believe i still even care about these games

Roadkill: pls elaborate

Roadkill: game??? what game

Goddess: fucking

Goddess: five night's at fucking freddy's

Foxy Mama: noPE

Foxy Mama: HATE THAT FANDOM

Foxy Mama: mari why are you a closet fnaf fan that's creepy

Goddess: I DONT KNWO

Goddess: I GOT INTO IT ONE DAY AND I CANT GET O U T

Roadkill: pffff

Goddess: why just why

Goddess: why am I even invested in this bullshit

Dad Joke: for the porn

Goddess: i will slit your throat just for that comment

Goddess: Paris be damned if i like porn about fucking haunted robots

Foxy Mama: wh

Foxy Mama: At is so good about the plot

Goddess: fuck all is good

Goddess: i dont know

Goddess: the plot is so complicated and bullshit but you end up wanting to know the answers the creator neVER GIVES YOU

Dad Joke: ...

Goddess: moVING ON

Goddess: I got bored and looked at the game website

Goddess: there's fucking teasers for a new goddamn game I just cannot

Foxy Mama: why won't those asshole games die already

Foxy Mama: at least Undertale is smart

Foxy Mama: there's no sequels to that shit

Foxy Mama: yet somehow that fandom has even more porn than fnaf

Dad Joke: the world is fucking nasty

Roadkill: don't forget that new game

Goddess: bendy and the ink machine?

Roadkill: yeah that one

Goddess: I relate

Goddess: these assholes are drawing a character literally made of INK in porn things

Foxy Mama: go nuts show nuts

Goddess: alya please no

Queen Bitch: i am alive

Queen Bitch: also i find it funny when people comment on porn photos are act like the can actually hit that

Queen Bitch: like what are you gonna do, eat the art

Dad Joke: EAT THE ART

Roadkill: y'all

Roadkill: i will literally kill myself if there's porn of our superhero personas

Goddess: nino you know for a fact that there is

Goddess: most of it is Chat Noir though

Dad Joke: WHAT

Foxy Mama: wym mari all of it is Chat not most of it

Dad Joke: W H A T

Goddess: aaaaand you've killed him

Dad Joke: i WANT to die

Queen Bitch: why the hell do you think i called you BDSM kitty

Queen Bitch: actually i'm switching it Renard Rouge is furry porn and Chat is BDSM kitty

**_Foxy Mama has changed their username to 'Furry Porn'_ **

Furry Porn: oof

_**Dad Joke has changed their username to 'BDSM Kitty'** _

Roadkill: what's mari and chLoe

BDSM Kitty: Insexts

BDSM Kitty: get it

Goddess: that is horrible

Queen Bitch: agreed

Queen Bitch: we're lovebugs

Goddess: lovebug #1 and lovebug #2

_**Goddess has changed their username to 'Lovebug #1'** _

_**Queen Bitch changed their username to 'Lovebug #2'** _

Lovebug #1: chloe actually can you change to something else that's gonna get so confusing so fast

**_Lovebug #2 has changed their username to 'Insext'_ **

Insext: happy

BDSM Kitty: that's

BDSM Kitty: wrong

BDSM Kitty: but fine

Furry Porn: wait what's nino

Roadkill: IM INNOCENT ASSHOLES

Lovebug #1: nino's the pedophile

Roadkill: what

Roadkill: the FUCK

Roadkill: HOW AM I A PEDOPHILE WE'RE ALL THE SAME AGE

BDSM Kitty: bro turtles live hella long

BDSM Kitty: you could be like a grandpa and bang a teenager

Roadkill: THATS DISGUSTING

**_Roadkill has changed their username to 'PedoTurtle'_ **

PedoTurtle: but im user changing just so im not left out

Lovebug #1: im going on rule 34 website and looking up all our superhero personas and im making myself the same number of bleach martini shots as the number of porn photos

Insext: can you hold for like 10 minutes im coming over there and joining you

Lovebug #1: I WANT TO D I E

Lovebug #1: 464 IMAGES

Lovebug #1: I MAINLY SEE LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR TOO IM KILLING MYSELF

BDSM Kitty: im scared

BDSM Kitty: mari bleach your eyes

Lovebug #1: IM BLEACHING MY E V E R Y T H I N G

Lovebug #1: everyone get your asses over here we're going through all of these images

Furry Porn: im game

PedoTurtle: im scared but free shots

BDSM Kitty: cant wait to see how much they exaggerated my dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to look on the rule 34 website for those statistics and i want to die


	7. Meme pals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who even reads summaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im at a point where i can no longer understand memes and i just go with it
> 
> Lovebug #1- Mari  
> BDSM Kitty- Adrien  
> Furry Porn- Alya  
> PedoTurtle- Nino  
> Insext- Chloe

Lovebug #1: YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES

PedoTurtle: IF TEN MILLION FIREFLIES

BDSM Kitty: whats going on

Lovebug #1: LIT UP THE WORLD AS I FELL ASLEEP

Furry Porn: im scared

BDSM Kitty: HI SCARED IM DAD

Furry Porn: dad joke is still in there isnt he

PedoTurtle: CUZ THEY FILL THE OPEN AIR

Lovebug #1: AND LEAVE TEARDROPS EVERYWHERE

Furry Porn: oh jeez theyre still going

Roadkill: YOU THINK ME RUDE BUT I WOULD JUST STAND AND

BDSM Kitty: alya do something

Lovebug #1: S T A R E

**_ Furry Porn has removed PedoTurtle from the group. _ **

Lovebug #1: ALYA WHY

Lovebug #1: MY MEME BUDDY :(

Lovebug #1: i will avenge you Nino the Memeo

Insext: this is the only way Nino andMarinette can get along

Insext: through assaulting us with memes

**_ Lovebug #1 has added PedoTurtle to the group. _ **

PedoTurtle: i cant believe i was kicked out of the group by my own girlfriend

Lovebug #1: dw nino the memeo ill treat you better

_**PedoTurtle has changed their username to 'Nino the Memeo'** _

Furry Porn: YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY MAN

Lovebug #1: trying? Honey i already did

Furry Porn: SASS

Furry Porn: i would be mad but its mari

Furry Porn: adrien chloe and i are in a threesome now then

Insext: i didnt agree to this

BDSM Kitty: i feel like we dont have a choice chloe

Furry Porn: damn right you dont

Lovebug #1: nino we can beat those lameos

Nino the Memeo: do it

Insext: scared

Lovebug #1: SOME

BDSM Kitty: oh no

Nino the Memeo: BODY ONCE

Lovebug #1: TOLD ME THE

Nino the Memeo: WORLD WAS GONNA

Lovebug #1: ROLL ME

Furry Porn: jesus christ make it stop

BDSM Kitty: threesome power unitE

Insext: just

_** Insext has removed Lovebug #1 from the group. ** _

_** Insext has removed Nino the Memeo from the group. ** _

Furry Porn: bless chloe

BDSM Kitty: relief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short ass chapter but im on a time limit today  
> Hmu on Instagram w ideas @ Chatinette if you have any thxxxx


	8. Shameless promotion of my other story because im a piece of shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alya reads fanfictions  
> Preferably mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What even is my life anymore
> 
> Lovebug #1- Mari  
> BDSM Kitty- Adrien  
> Furry Porn- Alya  
> Nino the Memeo- Nino  
> Insext- Chloe

Furry Porn: guys

Furry Porn: I was reading fanfiction and i found one thats scarily similar to how we actually ended up a team

BDSM Kitty: first off why were you reading fanfiction

BDSM Kitty: second link me i wanna read it

Insext: sad

Insext: you two actually read fanfiction about us

Furry Porn: SOME OF THEM ARE REALLY GOOD OKAY

BDSM Kitty: alya you fuck link me

Furry Porn: <http://archiveofourown.org/works/8020429/chapters/18362224> 

BDSM Kitty: aw dude it's unfinished

Insext: what the fuck

Furry Porn: hey wait where's my babe and Nino

BDSM Kitty: pretty sure Nino's your babe

Insext: i kicked them remember

Insext: they were memeing too hard

Furry Porn: oh shit we left them out overnight

Furry Porn: we're doomed 

_**Furry Porn added Nino the Memeo and Lovebug #1 to the group.** _

Lovebug #1: disgusted

Lovebug #1: we were forgotten

Lovebug #1: we are unwanted Nino

Nino the Memeo: unloved

_**Lovebug #1 has changed their username to 'Unwanted'** _

_**Nino the Memeo has changed their username to 'Unloved'** _

Furry Porn: stfu about your tag team guilt tripping

Furry Porn: read this fanfiction the writer got it pretty accurate

Unwanted: okay but im not a self-loathing sack of fuck

Unloved: um

Unloved: are we just gonna ignore that they know our actual indentities 

Insext: WHAT

Furry Porn: shit u rite

Unwanted: fuck i didnt look

Unwanted: breach??? Who knows that isnt us

Unwanted: oh man the Kwamis are gonna be so angry

Insext: hold up

Insext: Adrien has gone quiet

Insext: that bitch wrote it

Furry Porn: then why did he ask me to link it

Insext: he didn't know you were talking about his fucking magical fantasy

Insext: ADRIEN WTF YOU LITERALLY OUTED ALL OF OUR IDENTITES ON THE INTERNET

BDSM Kitty: people dont actually think it's real though

BDSM Kitty: besides in the first chapter I said it was my theory not reality

Unwanted: why did you make your dad HawkMoth and his assistant Bleu Paon

BDSM Kitty: let me be imaginative

BDSM Kitty: Bleu Paon said she knows who HawkMoth is i just filled in the rest

Unwanted: i still dont trust that blue bitch bird 

Unwanted: why wouldn't she tell us where to find HawkMoth if she truly knew

Furry Porn: i agree

Unloved: i dont think she actually knows

BDSM Kitty: probably true

Insext: tag yourself im Gabriel Agreste is HawkMoth

BDSM Kitty: dont attack me like this

Insext: im not

Insext: HawkMoth is though 

Unwanted: BITCH

Unwanted: suit up everyone he's up and at em again

Unwanted: see you losers on the battlefield

Unloved: tragic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrien writes fanfiction dont lie  
> Also dont kill me for that self insert of my story pinned on adrien lmao
> 
> cries


	9. This shit gets crackier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turning up the crack  
> Im not doing drugs i swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im gonna  
> Do this
> 
> Unwanted- Mari  
> BDSM Kitty- Adrien  
> Furry Porn- Alya  
> Unloved- Nino  
> Insext- Chloe

Unloved: do you guys think HawkMoth has a Kik

Furry Porn: babe what the fuck

Unloved: what

Unloved: am i the only one who lowkey would want a chat with HM in it

Unwanted: that's probably a terrible fucking idea

Unwanted: but at the same Time

Unwanted: holy shit i want it

Furry Porn: who are you and what have you done with Ladybug

Insext: I honestly agree with ninonette

Insext: itd be pretty damn hilarious if we had a group chat with Hawkmoth

Unwanted: ninonette

BDSM Kitty: oh my god

BDSM Kitty: we could pester Hawkmoth into surrendering

Unwanted: the chat would literally be a never-ending pissing contest of him and us trying to one-up the other

Unwanted: next Akuma im asking HM if he has a Kik

Furry Porn: we'd have to not use our real names

Furry Porn: is this even a good idea

BDSM Kitty: hey if we succeed then you can ask HM for interviews for the Ladyblog

Furry Porn: !!!!!!

Insext: the only time we want an Akuma to happen

Unloved: we're literally planning to harass him

Unwanted: he literally harasses us and Paris daily

Unloved: fair

Insext: wb Bleu Paon

Unwanted: i dont like her

Unwanted: plus she barely shows up HM is easier to bully

Furry Porn: headline

BDSM Kitty: 'heros of Paris bully city's supervillain into joining their shit-ass Kik chat'

Insext: news story of the century

Unwanted: truly a turning point in history

Unloved: im still gonna go after Bleu Paon too if she ever shows her feathered ass again

Furry Porn: what the even fuck is wrong with us

Unwanted: bruh

Unwanted: we save Paris on a daily basis with magical 2 inch animal gods that make us into magical anime style assholes 

Unwanted: Paris should let us be dumbass teens for once

BDSM Kitty: yeah you guys wasted that 1 time when you went grand theft auto and joyrided at 1 am

Unwanted: joyrided isnt a word

BDSM Kitty: youre not a word

Insext: weakest lover's spat ever

Unloved: o shit!!!!

Unloved: akuma at the eiffel!!!!!!!

Insext: YES

Unwanted: CHLOE BRING BACK YOUR BULLY SKILLS WE NEED HAWKMOTHS KIK

Furry Porn: this is so dumb

BDSM Kitty: please @ god let this work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned everyone I'm gonna make a seperate story where the Quantic Team actually harasses HawkMoth multiple times into getting a Kik
> 
> Not updating this story until I get that started
> 
> Luckily i have no driver's ed tomorrow so i can get on with that


	10. pls stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello im here to announce im working on a really big fic, my word limit on each chapter is gonna be 13,000 per so im writing like the 1st 4 chapters beforehand because good lord
> 
> Unwanted- Mari  
> BDSM Kitty- Adrien  
> Furry Porn- Alya  
> Unloved- Nino  
> Insext- Chloe

_**BDSM Kitty renamed the group to 'fidget my spinner'** _

Insext: stop right there leather boy

_**BDSM Kitty has changed their username to 'leather boy'** _

Unwanted: this just in, Adrien is the first of us to not capitalize their username

leather boy: fuck caps

Furry Porn: do you guys realize we're literally the teen titans

Unloved: man fuck that teen titans go bullshit i want none of it

Unwanted: im clearly Starfire because adrien can't tap this ever

leather boy: mari im hurt

leather boy: how could you do this to mE

Furry Porn: tap the bugabutt

Unloved: well shit i guess we are going off that teen titans go shit

Furry Porn: babe you're beast boy and im raven

Unloved: i

Unloved: fine

Unwanted: and chloe is cyborg

Insext: bitch i dont wanna be made outta metal

leather boy: what if we just dont be the teen Titans

Unwanted: teen titans summertime go

Furry Porn: ben 10 10 summertime go

Unwanted: summer summertime

Unloved: summertime terminal cancer

Insext: but it's not even summer in this story yet we still have that history project from chapters ago

leather boy: chloe what

Insext: nothing

Unwanted: ooo wait who are we as Steven Universe characters

Insext: you and Adrien are ruby and sapphire bc your miraculous are connected

Unwanted: im sapphire though

Unwanted: adrien is more of the frontal fighter like a ruby

leather boy: im a ruby bc im the guard for m'lady <3

Unwanted: minou no we're equals remember

Insext: get a room

Furry Porn: nino is either pearl or steven

Furry Porn: he's pearl as he tries to keep us all in line 24/7

Furry Porn: but hes steven bc shield

Unloved: i wanna be steven

Furry Porn: fine you're steven

Furry Porn: i guess im pearl?

Insext: why am i amethyst

Furry Porn: because you're destructive like her

Insext: HEY

Insext: okay true

Unwanted: hey guys i have some future vision

Unwanted: at the end of this chapter another stupid Akuma will appear

leather boy: again, chapter?

Unwanted: nothing

Unloved: can i just cry for a second

Unloved: part one of the doctor who season 10 finale is tonight and i saw spoilers

Unloved: they

leather boy: SHUT UP SPOILER

Unwanted: ^!!!! Shut u p

Furry Porn: tf is doctor who

Insext: alya wtf i dont even watch doctor who but i know what it is

Unloved: babe we have to break up

Furry Porn: WHAT

Unloved: i cant date someone who doesnt know wht doctor who is

Unwanted: nino i never took you for a sci-fi guy

Unloved: same for you honestly

leather boy: mari can nino and i crash your place to watch it

Unwanted: HELL YES PARTY TIME

Unloved: thank rassilon

Unloved: actually dont thank him

Unloved: fuck that guy

Unwanted: me

Furry Porn: im lost

leather boy: hi lost, im dad

Furry Porn: die dad joke

leather boy: OOF

Insext: Alya you wanna have a girls night while those nerds cry over whoever probably dies in doctor who

Insext: literally every episode someone dies

Unwanted: fuck moffat

Unloved: IM RLLY SAD CAPALDI IS LEAVING

leather boy: i want capaldi to be my dad

Unwanted: im still salty at moffat for murdering clara :( i loved her sm

Unwanted: HEY DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD LET OUR SUPERHERO PERSONAS IN A DOCTOR WHO EPISODE IF WE ASKES

Unloved: petiton!!!

leather boy: !!!!!

Furry Porn: well i can put that on the ladyblog for you nerds

Insext: how's the ladyblog going anyways

Insext: since you're renard rouge you cant out us

Furry Porn: i made a post saying i figured out all our identites but i was sworn to secrecy by our superhero selves

Furry Porn: some people were angry but most of them understood

Unwanted: thank god

Unwanted: alya still makes me do interviews for her though

leather boy: ALYA TF WHY DONT yOU EVER ASK ME FOR INTERVIEWS

Furry Porn: adrien your life is busy enough

leather boy: okay fine

Unloved: GOD DAMMIT

Unloved: fucking akuma can eat my ass 30 minute

Insext: YES TIME FOR ME TO BULLY HAWKMOTH INTO JOINING OUR CHAT

Unwanted: ay lmao second try

Unwanted: but let's not waste time i dont wanna miss doctor who

Unloved: ^

leather boy: ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im rlly angry because i live in america and i saw doctor who spoilers fuck moffat i cannot believe he did that to my baby
> 
> He had to get 1 more death in before he left didnt he
> 
> ALSO!!!! IM GONNA MEET PETER CAPALDI IN THE END OF JULY!!!!! MY DAD!!!!!!!


	11. Let's all kill moffat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a couple days i should be allowed to talk about this terribleness now  
> But just in case SPOILERS for Doctor Who "World Enough In Time" lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am disgusted at moffat  
> That is all

Unwanted: Moffat is so dead if i ever meet him that's the last straw i want bloOD

Furry Porn: mari what's wrong

Insext: who died in Doctor Who this time

Unwanted: THEY FUCKING TURNED BILL POTTS INTO A CYBERMAN

Unwanted: SHE'S PRETTY MUCH DEAD

Unwanted: IM NOT EVEN OVER CLARA YET AND THEY DECIDED TO KILL MY LESBIAN BABY

Insext: wait she was lesbian

Insext: wow why dont i watch doctor whO

Furry Porn: tragic

Furry Porn: sorry i dont get the emotional impact of this since i dont even know what a cyberman is

Unloved: she crIED EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONalLY DEAD

leather boy: sHe WAITED FOR THE DOCTOR

Unwanted: god dammit Missy why did you go and betray him

Unwanted: I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU BITCH

Unloved: i wasnt

Unloved: she dabbed on screen that's a federal offence

leather boy: im streamlining! Im saving us actual minutes! //dab

Furry Porn: i am so lost rn

Insext: missy sounds like a relatable character

Unwanted: missy is like the only character who's known to curse on the shOw

Insext: ME

Unloved: im just gonna say it

Unloved: fuck that blue guy

leather boy: WOAH RACISM

Unloved: NO BUt

Unloved: IF HE HADNT SHOT BILLL SHE WOULD BE ALIVE AND NOT A CYBERMAN

Unwanted: okay true

Unwanted: missy and the doctor's banter gives me life

Unwanted: are you eating?

Unloved: no im testing u

Unwanted: yeah well dont test me eating crisps

leather boy: i love how missy is trying to be good but then threatens the Master in multiple ways of how she could kill him just because he was talking to her

Insext: I LIKE THIS CHARACTER

Furry Porn: im still lost

Unwanted: chloe my girl if you ever wanna get into doctor who i can hook you up with all 10 seasons

Unloved: none of us watched classic who did we

Unwanted: no fuck that there's too many episodes

Unwanted: there's episodes of classic who that are lost forever too i dont think i can handle that

leather boy: doctor who is almost 54 years old holy shit

Furry Porn: TF 54 YEARS

Unwanted: yeah but we only watch the 2005-now reboot

Unloved: confession

Unloved: i originally skipped nine

Unwanted: WHAT

leather boy: YOU MONSTER

Furry Porn: nine??

Unwanted: the 9th doctor

Unwanted: the doctor regenerates every time he's fatally injured or too old and he basically gets reincarnated

Unwanted: the 9th doctor is his 9th regen

Unloved: technically it's his 10th but no one counts the war doctor

leather boy: I CANT BELIEVE JOHn HURT IS DEAD IM SAD

Unwanted: im just gonna binge watch doctor who from season 1 to now all night feel free to join me

Furry Porn: i have a feeling mari might kill me if i dont make an effort to understand your nerd so ill come over

Insext: im interested, ill go too

Unloved: HA EVERYONE IS GOING TO MARI'S

leather boy: we didnt leave yet we were crying over the new episode

Insext: shut your fucks up boys no more spoilers

Unloved: yes maam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my instagram @Chatinette for dumb miraculous stuff i guess maybe


	12. The unreleased shit from my HTS, WTS universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> highkey wanted to write a fanfiction with this but I lost it and I don't have the drive to rewrite all of it so im gonna casually stick it here like it's already been an existing thing for awhile okay thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to you I made this idea a long time ago but it died because my writer's block is like 365 days a year and I got stuck on how to write it hahahahahhahaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**_(12:47 AM)_ **

**_Unwanted has changed their username to 'Spotted Misfortune'.  
_ **

Spotted Misfortune: Blanc?

Spotted Misfortune: Wasp?

Spotted Misfortune: Tortue?

Spotted Misfortune: Kitsune?

Spotted Misfortune: you lazy fucks, do not tell me I wasted all of my strength possessing Ladybug's head after five months to find none of my friends had done the same

Spotted Misfortune: i thought we agreed on this assholes

**_leather boy has changed their username to 'Chat Blanc'._ **

Chat Blanc: do not stress, my lady...

Chat Blanc: your kitten is here!

Spotted Misfortune: aw, even after hiding away in that Noir's mind for months you risk your existence to speak with me <3

Chat Blanc: you wound me terribly, my lady~

Chat Blanc: must you force me to use Remewvenation to heal my wounds you so lovingly give me?

Spotted Misfortune: anti-charm won't heal you for shit my dear

**_Insext has changed their username to 'Fury Wasp'._ **

Fury Wasp: get a fucking room you disgusting pair of sadists

Spotted Misfortune: Waspie! <3

Chat Blanc: it seems we truly have invoked the fury, my lady~

Fury Wasp: death's sting can't be healed by your damn remewvenation you know, bitch ass cat

Chat Blanc: <3

**_Furry Porn has changed their username to 'Kitsune'._ **

Kitsune: sorry im late, my babies~!

Kitsune: Renard Rouge has such a strong mind, such a strong spirit~

Kitsune: my eyes would definitely linger on her if she wasn't my other side~

Fury Wasp: what kind of gay self-cest is that

Kitsune: PornHub quality, my dear wasp~

Fury Wasp: stop that shit right now

**_Unloved has changed their username to 'Tortue Toxique'._ **

Tortue Toxique: slow and steady wins the race, my poisonous ass

Tortue Toxique: why must I always be last to the party

Spotted Misfortune: cursed day this is! My best friends have all remembered me and my plans to chat!

Chat Blanc: must we only chat, my lady?

Chat Blanc: the heroes won't be able to take control back for another six hours...

Chat Blanc: why don't we go and do HawkMoth's job for him once more~?

Kitsune: OH, OH THE LOOK ON HIS AKUMA'S FACE WHEN WE THREATENED TO SLICE HIS HEAD OFF

Kitsune: Blanc's manic grin and his white claws at his neck had me shivering, oh so glorious~!

Spotted Misfortune: now now, Kitsune, you can look but you can't touch ;^)

Chat Blanc: this insane cat belongs to his lady!

Kitsune: point taken, point taken

Kitsune: but you must admit, it was so magnificent~

Fury Wasp: all of you are sadists except me, i feel like i don't fit in this group at all

Tortue Toxique: hey!

Tortue Toxique: im not a sadist

Tortue Toxique: i love being evil and hurting people but

Tortue Toxique: those three mental assholes get wet off of hurting people

Kitsune: Waspie is the uncontrollable angry one, she belongs on our team

Kitsune: Tortue, you are the most mild of us

Kitsune: but i still love you my toxic baby <3

Tortue Toxique: thank god

Tortue Toxique: but Blanc was onto something tho

Tortue Toxique: why don't we go out and kill a few people while we still have the chance?

Spotted Misfortune: because their Kwamis are still here

Spotted Misfortune: we may have taken off their Miraculous, but those damned Kwami didn't disappear

Chat Blanc: because despite us not wanting them, these bodies aren't technically ours

Chat Blanc: our other sides still want the Miraculous, even unconscious

Chat Blanc: they do not disappear when they are wanted

Fury Wasp: they are the only downside to our creation five months ago

Fury Wasp: our other halves stupidly left their Miraculous at home

Fury Wasp: when our other halves were zapped by that Akuma and we were created, the Kwamis we should have weren't created because they weren't there...

Kitsune: such a shame

Kitsune: though it was pretty idiotic of our other sides to keep our Miraculous'

Kitsune: foolish heroes, thinking that they were still only costume pieces after that day

Tortue Toxique: even without Kwamis tied to our Miraculous' we can still transform

Tortue Toxique: which is why i again ask

Tortue Toxique: shall we go have a night on the city?

Chat Blanc: that is for my lady to decide~

Kitsune: only fair, she is the leader

Fury Wasp: even if we don't kill people

Fury Wasp: it'd still be nice to run free after being cramped up in the back of Queen Bee's mind for so long

Spotted Misfortune: as much as it kills me to say

Spotted Misfortune: no killing people this time

Tortue Toxique: this time?

Spotted Misfortune: five months, it took, to gather the strength to overpower their minds...

Spotted Misfortune: how long, do you think,

Spotted Misfortune: would it take to overpower their minds _forever?_

Chat Blanc: ooo

Chat Blanc: i see where my lady is going with this~

Kitsune: heh heh

Kitsune: it would be stimulating to fight against HawkMoth again

Kitsune: to think, on that day we made him into the hero of Paris!

Kitsune: that man is nothing but a desperate idiot who fakes being the villain.

Kitsune: well, won't we show him where his loyalty lies if we took control forever

Chat Blanc: i _gladly_ support this chance.

Chat Blanc: sorry my dears, but energy takes so long to build up

Chat Blanc: i'll get started on that immediately

Kitsune: ditto!

Tortue Toxique: oh im so in >:^)

Fury Wasp: sign me the fuck up

Spotted Misfortune: then it is settled!

Spotted Misfortune: see you all next time~

Spotted Misfortune: but one more thing!

Spotted Misfortune: Ladybug, _did you miss me?_

Chat Blanc: Chat Noir, _did you miss me?_

Fury Wasp: Queen Bee, _did you miss me?_

Tortue Toxique: Jade Turtle, _did you miss me?_

Kitsune: Renard Rouge, _did you miss me?_

_a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍o̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨa̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍u̟͎̲͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈: did you miss me?_

_a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍o̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨa̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍u̟͎̲͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈: did you miss me?_

_a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍o̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨa̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍u̟͎̲͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈: did you miss me?_

_a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍o̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨa̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍u̟͎̲͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈: did you miss me?_

_a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍o̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨa̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍u̟͎̲͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈: did you miss me?_

 

_d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅi̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣd̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ y͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨo̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨu̟͎̲͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈ m̘͈̺̪͓̺ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣs̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚ m̘͈̺̪͓̺ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑?_

_d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣ d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ y͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨ o̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ u̟͎̲͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈ m̘͈̺̪͓̺ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋ i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣ s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚ s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚ m̘͈̺̪͓̺ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋ e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑ ?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot? in a group chat fic?
> 
> they're all insane but I love them really  
> As I finished writing this I actually found the unfinished story that is theirs so with luck I'll actually finish that and you'll be able to see their origins!!!
> 
> ***HEY IF YOU WANNA USE THIS TROPE FROM MY HTS, WTS UNIVERSE IN A FIC GO AHEAD BUT MAYBE CREDIT ME??? THX
> 
> (oof sorry about actual plot and not funny crack shit)


	13. sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am  
> Alive  
> Slightly  
> Only slightly

Spotted Misfortune: I am.crying real jesus tears

Fury Wasp: what did SM leave you to wake up to

Spotted Misfortune: a very explicit fanfiction of adrien x chat noir

Spotted Misfortune: merde let me die

Kitsune: THAT DOESN'T WORK IM CRYING

Kitsune: they're the same person wtf

Fury Wasp: take throbbing cock

Fury Wasp: stick up own ass

Kitsune: BEGONE BITCH BEE

Spotted Misfortune: Spotty wrote it herself

Spotted Misfortune: which means I wrote it too

Fury Wasp: SJDJSJFBSKEOFH

Kitsune: i neeD

Kitsune: holy water

Kitsune: and the bible

Kitsune: also maybe something to kill myself with

Spotted Misfortune: you dont have the right to act like you saw it with your own virgin eyes

Chat Blanc: there are condom packages all over my room in insane places

Chat Blanc: Blanc left me a note saying I had to find them all before someone else does

Kitsune: NOTHING IF NOT MATURE AND CIVILIZED, OUR EVIL COUNTERPARTS ARE

Tortue Toxique: Yeah Toxi didn't give me anything shitty

Tortue Toxique: I think he knows that if he did something my mom would find it and kill me before he could come back

Kitsune: Sune gave me a note but im too scared to read it

Spotted Misfortune: read it

Spotted Misfortune: READ IT

Kitsune: no thanks satan

Fury Wasp: Wasp left me complaints about how annoying her team is

Fury Wasp: lowkey I feel like if we all got taken over for real she'd be most likely to betray them

Tortue Toxique: a bee blessing

Chat Blanc: a bleesing

Spotted Misfortune: fuck all of you im gonna go burn this

Kitsune: +1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to Florida Supercon and Peter Capaldi insisted I call him just Peter instead of Mr Capaldi i love this man


	14. Im out of ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ideas wut r those idk her  
> A last effort to make this stupid fic interesting  
> Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instagram is like 1/3 of what I use my phone for  
> Instagram, Internet, YouTube, repeat  
> That's it  
> So I've picked it  
> Here in this fic are some actual things I've done on Instagram mixed with my imagination because they 100% only have Instagram for their Superhero personas

_**All Group Chat participants usernames have been reset.** _

Ladyfuck-off: finally got that evil smell out of my house

Noirmemes: I really hope I cleaned everything out of my room

Turtle Jadeass: I JUST FOUND OUT WHAT THAT BITCH TOXI DID

Turtle Jadeass: HE POSTED A BUNCH OF AWFUL SHIT ON MY INSTAGRAM

Beeautiful: a tragedy

Fox Fuck: private or superhero?

Turtle Jadeass: SUPERHERO

Ladyfuck-off: lmao wow you have some real trouble

Noirmemes: honestly bless instagram for getting us the usernames of our actual superhero names

Fox Fuck: it's so satisfying to see some other celebrity follow us

Fox Fuck: especially if it's someone you're already following

Ladyfuck-off: I STILL REMEMBER THE DAY JENNA COLEMAN FOLLOWED ME BACK I HAD A HEART ATTACJ

Ladyfuck-off: I have a DM with her in my awful broken English

Beeautiful: Jagged Stone follows all of us

Turtle Jadeass: most of the celebrities that follow me I dont even know

Noirmemes: first one to get followed by Trump wins life

Fox Fuck: absolutely not

Fox Fuck: I refuse to let that cheeto get near me

Beeautiful: trump blocked me actually

Noirmemes:WJAJSJAJAJ

Ladyfuck-off: glorious

Ladyfuck-off: I have a follow from CoryxKenshin so there's that

Fox Fuck: who

Ladyfuck-off: YouTuber, funny I suppose from what english I can understand

Turtle Jadeass: at some point we're gonna have to make an effort to learn different languages

Turtle Jadeass: or at least get a translator

Noirmemes: Instagram thinks i live in Saudi arabia

Fox Fuck: why

Noirmemes: i dont even know

Beeautiful: I GOT MY OWN FUCKING POST IN THE "VIDEOS YOU MIGHT LIKE" YEAH I'LL FUCKING LIKE THAT INSTAGRAM I FUCKIN POSTED IT OFC I LIKE IT

Ladyfuck-off: that's like the pinnacle of narcissism

Turtle Jadeass: i put up a post saying I was hacked

Fox Fuck: that's a first

Fox Fuck: none of us have gotten hacked before legitimately

Noirmemes: we don't have Instagram verification yet that's why

Ladyfuck-off: we should

Fox Fuck: someone named Thomas Astruc just followed me

Beeautiful: tbh cant we just use our group DM instead of Kik at this point

Turtle Jadeass: yeah

Noirmememes: agreeeed

Ladyfuck-off: ^

Fox Fuck: well

Fox Fuck: bye for now Kik

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im out of ideas so rip this fic for now  
> It comes back for like not even 24 hours and already it dies  
> ///dabs  
> If I can get my ass up to finish SM, CB, FW, TT, and KS' story I might. I writer's blocked on about 5,000 words in


	15. Pog mo thoin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROP HUNT BUT WITHOUT THE VIDEO RECORDING
> 
> "AUDIO" ONLY BUT IT'S IN KIK CHAT FORMAT

Ladyfuck-off: bugs v animals I feel like this is slight racism

Noirmemes: mari listen

Noirmemes: you and bee could easily kick our asses irl let us have this

Fox Fuck: highkey chloe threatened to sue us all if she couldn't be paired with you

Turtle Jadeass: its true love

Turtle Jadeass: chlonette

Turtle Jadeass: Ladybee

Fox Fuck: hmu with that ladybee smut

Fox Fuck: hot lesbian porn

Beeautiful: Buginette someone is a fucking tiny cup bolting around the map

Noirmemes: EXCUSE ME TWATTY BEE THAT'S MY NICKNAME FOR MY LADY

Beeautiful: consider this

Beeautiful: I dont care

Ladyfuck-off: I SEE THW CUP

Ladyfuck-off: EJSJDIDJF

Ladyfuck-off: grenADE

Turtle Jadeass: FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE MARI GRENADES ARE CHEAP dICK MOVES

Fox Fuck: lol triggered

Beeautiful: adrien you're a titanic prat that's the worst prop you could have been

Ladyfuck-off: oh my god chaton

Ladyfuck-off: why

Noirmemes: I RAN OUT OF TIME THEN GOT MY ASS STUCK OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE

Fox Fuck: what is he what is hE

Turtle Jadeass: he's a table stuck in another table

Fox Fuck: HAHAKSKDNSBSH

Beeautiful: so uh

Beeautiful: how do you wanna do this mari

Ladyfuck-off: i dont have my grenade anymore i used it blasting ninocup to hell

**Turtle Jadeass has changed their username to 'Ninocup'.**

Ninocup: LISTWN

Ninocup: SMALLEST PROPS ARE THE ONLY WAY TO NOT GET MURDERED 5 SECONDS IN

Noirmemes: O W

Beeautiful: this just in i obliterated chatty boi

**Noirmemes has changed their username to 'Chatty Boi'.**

Chatty Boi: as soon as alya dies im coming just to murder you first chloe

Beeautiful: love u too

Fox Fuck: you boys suck

Ladyfuck-off: okay something is fucky in this room

Fox Fuck: shit

Chatty Boi: 10 photos taken seconds before tragedy

Fox Fuck: POG MO THOIN

Ladyfuck-off: swearing in other languages now are we

Fox Fuck: shit do you actually know how to read that

Ladyfuck-off: no but that's definitely a swear because you wouldn't scream nice things at me after I killed you

Beeautiful: yay team swap

Chatty Boi: im out for chloe she's mine you two can hunt mari

Fox Fuck: k

Ninocup: mariiiiii where are uuuuu

Ladyfuck-off: behind you

Ninocup: wait WhAT

Ladyfuck-off: LOL WATCH YOUR BACK BITCH

Ninocup: you ass you're not even near me

Beeautiful: mari I want you to know that's the worst spot I've ever seen

Ladyfuck-off: HEY DONT HATE ON MY SPOT

Ladyfuck-off: chloe what the fuck are you doing

Beeautiful: im not sure but this was a bad idea

Fox Fuck: WHAT THW SHIT

Chatty Boi: whatwhat

Fox Fuck: okay who's the couch that's running across the hallway

Beeautiful: YOU DIDNT SEE ME

Ninocup: HAJAISHSHFKSH

Chatty Boi: ALYA DONT KILL HER SHES MINE

Ninocup: so mari has gone silent

Ninocup: shouldn't we worry about that

Ladyfuck-off: no

Ladyfuck-off: FUCK

Chatty Boi: buggy bug couldn't handle the pressure and committed suicide

Ladyfuck-off: I FELL OFF A LEDGE AND IT KILLED ME THATS SO BULL

Fox Fuck: what were you

Ladyfuck-off: I was a wood plank

Beeautiful: LOL HOW DID I LOSE YOU IDIOTS

Chatty Boi: CHLOE YOU SHIT COME BACK HERE SO I CAN BLOW YOU UP

Beeautiful: no thx

Ladyfuck-off: holy shit chlo he's going to kill you when he finds you that spot is so insulting

Ladyfuck-off: how did you do that

Beeautiful: disgracefully

_(1 round time later)_

Chatty Boi: CHLOE I HATE YOU SO MUCH

Fox Fuck: HAJSHSBSNSHSB

Ninocup: this was a great game

Ladyfuck-off: somehow she had time to make herself a fort of filing cabinets with her in it as a tiny cup that's the peak of creativity in this game

Beeautiful: new game?

Chatty Boi: no fuck you I quit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you dont know what Prop hunt is its basically where 1 team is the hunters and the other team turns into a prop from the map you're on and hides or tries to hide from the hunters but most of the time end up dying anyways


	16. what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit im alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being deader than the Gabriel ISNT HawkMoth theory

Ladyfuck-off: none of you assholes have talked in 2 months I am livid

Ninocup: suck my dick mari

Ladyfuck-off: sorry I can't see it its too small

Ninocup: i h8 u

Fox Fuck: it's not that small

Ladyfuck-off: that was information i seriously didn't need

Ladyfuck-off: fucking hell alya

Fox Fuck: ;^)

Beeautiful: thats hetero i need my gay

Beeautiful: wheres my gay

Chatty Boi: none of us are gay chloe

Beeautiful: what a tragedy

Ladyfuck-off: have i told you all the news yet

Fox Fuck: what news

Ladyfuck-off: im getting a pet bird

Chatty Boi: i promise not to eat it

Chatty Boi: can't say the same for plagg tho

Ninocup: what are u gonna name it

Ladyfuck-off: poob

Beeautiful: POOB

Fox Fuck: mari what the hell

Ladyfuck-off: DONT FUCKIGN JUDGE ME

Ninocup: im judging hard

Chatty Boi: what breed

Ladyfuck-off: diamond dove

Ladyfuck-off: little fat bastards but i lov them

Ninocup: ROUND

Fox Fuck: show me the roundest bird

Beeautiful: why is this one photo of one look like its about to smite me

Chatty Boi: birds eat bugs

Ninocup: mari what if it eats tikki

Ladyfuck-off: HE WOJT FUCKING EAT TIKKI THE FUCK

Ladyfuck-off: his beak is tiny

Ladyfuck-off: like your DICK

Fox Fuck: again its not that tiny

Ladyfuck-off: ENOUGH

Beeautiful: why the obsession with nino's uncooked sausage

Chatty Boi: im very worried about all of you what the shit

Ninocup: because mine is bigger than adriens

Chatty Boi: RAISE UP LITTLE BITCH

Fox Fuck: cock fight

Ladyfuck-off: suddenly I regret reviving this group chat

Beeautiful: Chat Noir and Jade Turtle spotted with their dicks out in public having a light saber battle

Fox Fuck: MOOD

Ladyfuck-off: im crying

Ninocup: i will gladly do that to protect my manhoods pride

Chatty Boi: square up then 1 inch

Fox Fuck: im recording this for my ladyblog if this happens

Beeautiful: 18+ Jade Noir porn

Ladyfuck-off: i am buying holy water for all of you sinners

Ladyfuck-off: im a child of GOD i shouldnt have to witness this shit

Ladyfuck-off: im going to fucking church

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oofie  
> My instagram is Bugadork hmu cool cool


	17. Obligatory pokemon chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been shiny hunting for the past 3 weeks and I got my shiny venomoth last night. I named him Gabriel. So everyone gets a pokemon from an Akuma but the Miraculous Holders get shinies suck it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beep beep im a nerd

Fox Fuck: what are we supposed to do with these Pokemon

Fox Fuck: I dont want to have to explain why my Vulpix is shiny like Renard Rouge's is

Ladyfuck-off: BEST FUCKING AKUMA EVER

Chatty Boi: as much as I love my shiny Persian we have to purify the Akuma eventually

Ladyfuck-off: I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN GIVE UP MY LEDIAN

Beeautiful: Vespiquen is a goddess though

Jade Turtle: Torterra isn't gonna fucking fit in my house

Fox Fuck: why are all your pokemon in their final evolution but my Vulpix isn't

Chatty Boi: Vulpix fits you better than Ninetales though based on color

Jade Turtle: ^

Fox Fuck: okay fine but we all have shinies so that instantly nullifies that point

Chatty Boi: I'm very glad shiny Persian is barely different at this point because that's the only reason I got past Nathalie

Ladyfuck-off: TIKKI CAN TALK TO LEDIAN I'M CRYINF

Beeautiful: yeah i think the kwamis can talk to our temporary pokemon

Chatty Boi: PLAGG IS FIGHTING PERSIAN DBENFNFNIJ

Jade Turtle: we could all have pokemon battles??? Why arent we exploiting this

Fox Fuck: Vulpix is half wrecked if she battles Torterra. Grass Ground against Fire

Jade Turtle: Bleu Paon has a shiny Braviary which is hilarious because there is no peacock pokemon

Ladyfuck-off: haha get fucked

Beeautiful: does that meanHawkMoth has a shiny venomoth

Chatty Boi: probably

Chatty Boi: I HEAR ANGRY SQWAKING DOWNSTAIRS IM VERY CONCERNED WHAT NATHALIE IS STUCK WITH

Fox Fuck: GO SEE GO SEE

Ladyfuck-off: man I really dont wanna purify this akuma

Ladyfuck-off: i have the akumatized object and all but i dont wannaaaaaa

Jade Turtle: lets just leave it for a day or two and then do it

Beeautiful: IM WATCHING SOMEONE'S GARCHOMP FIGHT A TINY ASS CATERPIE

Fox Fuck: rekt

Chatty Boi: accurate representation of nino fighting my dick

Jade Turtle: are we seriously bringing this shit up again

Beeautiful: someone nickname the persian adriens dick and the torterra ninos dick and then have them fight

Ladyfuck-off: i hate you all

Fox Fuck: THERE'S A BUILDING ON FIRE UM

Jade Turtle: okay maybe we should just

Jade Turtle: purify the akuma

Ladyfuck-off: crap

Ladyfuck-off: fine

Ladyfuck-off: goodbye my perfect ladybug child

Chatty Boi: moment of silence for nino losing his dick

Jade Turtle: consider eating it adrien agreste

Chatty Boi: im not gay so no thanks

Beeautiful: im just not gonna mention i saw someone fall from the sky when their bird pokemon vanished

Ladyfuck-off: WHAT

Beeautiful: joking the miraculous cure caught them

Chatty Boi: plagg is pissed off he didn't get to beat up my persian

Jade Turtle: rip

Fox Fuck: we will never see the battle between nino and adriens dicks now

Beeautiful: moment of silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I wrote Jade Turtle as his username and not Ninocup but I'm too lazy to change it so fuck me


	18. Secret Santa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im stealing this from my friend group irl so if any of them somehow reads this I'm exposed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a mistake we did this literally 2 hours ago and we are all scared about who's buying who what

**_Chatty Boi has renamed themselves to 'Santas enchanted forest'_ **

_**Jade Turtle has renamed themselves to 'come and see the lights at the wonderful'** _

Beeautiful: I'm coming to beat your asses into the ground right now change that shit or so help me

Fox Fuck: babe

Fox Fuck: babe

Fox Fuck: why

come and see the lights at the wonderful: for the ME mES

Ladyfuck-off: I am so disappointed right now

Santas enchanted forest: HEY

Santas enchanted forest: its FUNNY

Beeautiful: no the fuck its not you're dying in 2 minutes

Santas enchanted forest: oof

come and see the lights at the wonderful: guys can we do secret santa

Fox Fuck: if you change your name back I'll allow it

Ladyfuck-off: Sorry when was Renard Rouge in charge of the team? Sit down furry bitch

Beeautiful: DRAG HER

Fox Fuck: good lord what did i even do

Santas enchanted forest: maris on her period

Fox Fuck: is she actually because lmao suffer

Ladyfuck-off: okay I'm telling the police force renard rouge switched sides and now works for Hawkdad

Fox Fuck: WTF ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOUR BEST FRIEND ARRESTED

Ladyfuck-off: yes

_** come and see the lights at the wonderful has renamed themselves to 'Last Christmas' ** _

Last Christmas: can we all be named christmas songs though

Fox Fuck: I GOTCHU

_** Fox Fuck has renamed themselves as 'Let It Snow' ** _

Ladyfuck-off: i thought that said let it go for a second and i was about to attack your thot ass

Let It Snow: rude

_** Santas enchanted forest has renamed themselves as 'Jingle Bell Rock' ** _

Beeautiful: of course adrien would be that song

_** Ladyfuck-off has renamed themselves as 'Carol Of The Bells' ** _

Beeautiful: WAIT YOU ASSHOLES TOOK ALL THE GOOD SONGS NO

Beeautiful: fucking hate u all

_** Beeautiful has renamed themselves as 'Deck The Halls' ** _

Let It Snow: wym all the good songs deck the halls is good

Carol Of The Bells: it's not god tier christmas though so suck it

Last Christmas: cucked

Deck The Halls: step the fuck up bell bitch

Jingle Bell Rock: i thought we were doing secret santa

Last Christmas: YES WE ARE IM SENDING EVERYONE A NAME AND THEN IT'S UP TO YOU ALL TO CHOOSE WHO HAS Me

Let It Snow: that makes 0 sense but okay

Last Christmas: okay I sent everyone names y'all can swap my name around and shit but I picked who I'm secret santaing for

Jingl e Bell Rock: so uh alya what gift do you want

Carol Of The Bells: ADRIEN WTF DID YOU JUST GIVE AWAY WHO YOU GOT

Jingle Bell Rock: no sh sh im just asking alya what she wants

Deck The Halls: no adrien you gave it away we need new people do it again nino

Last Christmas: adrien can you not cuck everyone else over thanks

Let It Snow: this was a mistake

Last Christmas: okay i gave everyone else new people adrien shut the fuck up rn

Jingle Bell Rock: hey so

Jingle Bell Rock: alya

Let It Snow: NO

Jingle Bell Rock: what do you want

Deck The Halls: CAN WE KIcK ADRIEN OUT OF THE SECRET SANTA

Carol Of The Bells: okay Adrien's just fucking with us now ignore him

Last Christmas: OKAY NO MORE REDOS YOU HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE SHUT THE FUCK UP ADRIEN

Let It Snow: okay im gonna go get the gift right now fuck all of you

Carol Of The Bells: whoever has adrien

Carol Of The Bells: buy him a fursuit

Jingle Bell Rock: IM NOT A FURRY

Deck The Halls: im buying him a fursuit even though I dont have him

Jingle Bell Rock: i hate all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes we did have to draw names 4 fucking times because 1 of us kept giving away who they got which ruined the surprise. Michael.


	19. Rehashing shit from older chapters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Retconing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bringing back their evil counterparts. This chapter is a setup for another story because I dont know how else to do it

Carol Of The Bells: uh so i dont want to panic anyone but Spotted Misfortune's earrings are gone

Carol Of The Bells: like the earring prop it's totally gone like it got up and walked away

Carol Of The Bells: I don't understand why it disappeared like I'm actually concerned that Akuma is long gone and the Inverse Miraculous stayed in reality but now it's gone

Carol Of The Bells: so im going to hope that after months the Inverse ones finally disappeared from existance but something tells me even im not that lucky

Jingle Bell Rock: ChatBlanc's ring is also gone and now im just as scared as you

Let It Snow: so this is a problem because Kitsune's also vanished

Deck The Halls: you know what

Deck The Halls: im not scared

Deck The Halls: Fury Wasp literally hates her team anyways I feel like she could deflect to our side at any time

Deck The Halls: they might be damgerous but we're talking about the same morons that left us inappropriate parting gifts that one time

Last Christmas: I STILL HAVE SHIT FROM THE TIME TORTUE POSTED LEWD CRAP ON MY INSTAGRAM

Let It Snow: so everyone's Inverse Miraculous is gone

Let It Snow: this isnt good

Deck The Halls: nah nah nah its fine its litty Wasp isn't killing me rn

Carol Of The Bells: WAIT IS FURY WASP WITH YOU RIGHT NOW

Carol Of The Bells: WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE JUST LETTING HER EXIST

Deck The Halls: nah nah nah they just wanna be a part of our secret santa!!!

Jingle Bell Rock: okay yeah Chat Blanc just crashed through my window yelling at me not to attack him

Let It Snow: what the FUCK is happening

Carol Of The Bells: oh speak of the devil Spotty is here

Carol Of The Bells: SHE STOLE SOMEONE'S WALLET SO SHE COULD BUY SOMETHING FOR SECRET SANTA

Last Christmas: are they actually serious they're not about to kill us or paris they just wanna be in our secret santa

Deck The Halls: yeah they would've attacked us by now if they were out for murder

Let It Snow: Kitsune's at the door

Let It Snow: my younger sister answered the door

Let It Snow: SHES SCREAMING BECAUSE SHE KNOWS DAMN WELL WHO KITSUNE IS AND WHAT THE FUCK

Carol Of The Bells: Spotty is laughing at that she's reading over my shoulder

Carol Of The Bells: Tikki is very not happy about her being here

Carol Of The Bells: im not even sure how they're alive again anyways Spotty is refusing to tell me

Jingle Bell Rock: Plagg doesn't actually seem to care

Jingle Bell Rock: to be fair, my power does the opposite of Cataclysm, Adrien, I'm not as big of a threat as everyone else, okay? Sheesh

Jingle Bell Rock: ^ that was Blanc he stole my phone

Last Christmas: Tortue snuck into my house im scared I didn't even hear a thing and he just apparated behind me

Deck The Halls: harry potter lookin ass

Let It Snow: I HAD TO TAPE MY SISTER'S MOUTH SHUT SO SHE'D STOP FUCKING SCREAMING AND I DRAGGED KITSUNE TO MY ROOM AND LOCKED THE DOOR I AM SO DEAD

Let It Snow: SHE'S GONNA TELL MY PARENTS THAT A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH IS IN MY RoOM

Let It Snow: WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

Carol Of The Bells: Spotty is now choking because she was laughing too hard

Jingle Bell Rock: are we just letting the Inverse stay in our rooms or something

Jingle Bell Rock: legit we can't let anyone else know they're back or panic is gonna sweep Paris so fucking fast

Deck The Halls: um they can't detransform

Deck The Halls: I think they only exist because the Miraculous exist

Deck The Halls: I think the Inverse miraculous are them like some steven universe shit

Carol Of The Bells: are you telling me they're all crystal fucking gems

Deck The Halls: so uh the miraculous are reffered to as stones/jewels so

Deck The Halls: they're crystal gems

Carol Of The Bells: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Let It Snow: oh my god I'm not sure what the fuck to do because Kitsune is being NO HELP and my sister took the tape off and resumed screaming

Let It Snow: help me

Last Christmas: I can't im busy redoing the fucking secret santa shit because 5 new people fucking joined

Jingle Bell Rock: this is such a bad idea

Deck The Halls: rt but this is gonna be hilarious too

Let It Snow: I AM SUFFERING AND NO ONE IS HELPING ME I HATE YOU ALL

Carol Of The Bells: so it begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand that no one knows how the Inverse Miraculous came to be other than myself but I plan to fix that
> 
> But in this fic the Inverse Squad is joining the Group Chat!!!! Hella!!!!!


	20. Ow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this gonna be too confusing or

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha help me

_**Bells Of The Carol, Rock Bell Jingle, Snow It Let, Christmas Last, and Halls The Deck have been added to the groupchat.** _

**C** **arol Of The Bells:** Oh god please no please change your names all of you that's going to get so confusing so fast I want none of it cease

 **Carol Of The Bells:** also what moron gave the inverse phones

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** blanc was sad okay leave me be

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** but the others got phones from chloe

 **Deck The Halls:** HelLO???

 **Deck The Halls:** snake bitch i thought we agreed we werent going to tell her

 **Carol Of The Bells:** okay you know what admin rights im force changing them fuck all of you

_**Carol Of The Bells has renamed 'Bells Of The Carol' to 'mayo'.** _

_**Carol Of The Bells has renamed 'Rock Bell Jingle' to 'succ'.** _

_**Carol Of The Bells has renamed 'Snow It Let' to 'gay'.** _

_**Carol Of The Bells has renamed 'Christmas Last' to 'boring'.** _

_**Carol Of The Bells has renamed 'Halls The Deck' to 'h'.** _

**h:** are you

 **h:** are you that unoriginal

 **h:** i can understand the other ones but fucking

 **h:** mayo

 **mayo:** I DON'T UNDERSTAND THESE JOKES

 **mayo:** YOU FUCKERS ARE WEIRD.

 **boring:** i feel extremely attacked im not fucking boring Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

 **Carol Of The Bells:** the fact that you used my full name unnerves me tortue

 **succ:** S U C C

 **gay:** well, you're very much correct with mine

 **gay:** I'd fix it to gay self-cest though because alya is hot

 **Let It Snow:** wow my bisexual ass is quivering

 **h:** PERMISSION TO KILL KITSUNE PLEASE

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** this is a mess

 **Last Christmas:** i love how everyone's angry that their nicknames are stupid but blanc just pops in for 1 second and goes S U C C

 **Deck The Halls:** wasp i give you permission honestly

 **gay:** aw man chloe i didn't mean it, you're hot too

 **Last Christmas:** kitsune is hardcore lesbian sadist

 **gay:** DAMN RIGHT YA NINJA TURTLE.

 **boring:** exposed, kit doesn't actually love me romantically but we're basically siblings

 **Let It Snow** **:** oh god ew ew you just gave me that mental image of if nino and i were siblings

 **mayo:** actual rednecks.

 **mayo:** that's disgusting.

 **mayo:** i like it

 **Let It Snow:** HELLO????

 **h:** why why whY WHY W H Y

 **succ:** hey no kink-shaming

 **Carol Of The Bells:** oh fuck me crawdaddy

 **Carol Of The Bells:** Quantic Team there's a fucking akuma

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** SHIT

 **Last Christmas:** okay Inverse squad we'll be back you better stay in the house okay bye

 

_**New group created with 'mayo','succ','gay','boring', and 'h'.** _

**mayo:**  So... what do we want to do?

 **succ:** As much as it feels weird to say it, I kinda like them. I don't really... want to kill them?

 **gay:** But we can't change who we are. Paris hates us and is terrified of us.

 **h:** Can't we though?

 **boring:** Kit. You forget what Blanc overheard HawkMoth say before getting ACTUALLY CUCKED by Chat Noir. He's out to kill them now. We should... we should help them.

 **succ:** Fuck you Tortue can't you let that shit go

 **succ:** But yes. HawkMoth's out to kill them now. He's desperate. A desperate man.

 **gay:** Still... how will they explain to Paris we're on their side? How will they explain that we still exist at all?

 **mayo:** Before Marinette left, I talked to her Kwami. Tikki. She doesn't like me very much, and I can get that yeah. But I think she noticed my serious tone, which from last time she knows I'm anything but serious. I told her what Blanc overheard. I don't think she believes me, but she might after this Akuma now.

 **boring:** We're supposed to be evil though. That's the basis of our powers. Fuck. Villains turning into heroes is such a cliche.

 **h:** We can fight on the side of good but that doesn't mean WE have to be good. Let's decide now. Protect the Quantics, hunt down HawkMoth through the underbelly of Paris. The criminals. We can kill them, they're rotten anyways. No one will miss them. Find HawkMoth, put him out of commission. Once he's gone, the Quantics would be safe and we could still satisfy our bloodlust by hunting criminals in Paris and really, anywhere in the world. Problem solved!

 **mayo:** I don't think, if we can even get that far, the Quantics would be okay to allow us all over the planet.

 **succ:** Then we do what we can. The point is, we all feel the savage protectiveness towards our respective Quantics. We NEED them to be safe and alive. And we'll do anything to make sure that stays the way it is. Even kill. Even GENOCIDE.

 **gay:** Agreed.

 **boring:** But we can't tell them any of this. Not yet. Maybe in the future if our plan goes correctly.

 **mayo:** Then that's what we'll do. Akuma's been purified, I can feel it. They're going to come back shortly. Just act like we're not protecting them.

 

**[10 Member Groupchat]**

**Carol Of The Bells:** that akuma sucked my entire ass

 **Last Christmas:** why did that feel way too easy

 **h:** welcome back loser squad

 **Let It Snow:** really feeling the love from Wasp there

 **mayo:** It was easy?

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** easy to CUCK OVER HELLA

 **Let It Snow:** YO EVERYONE LET'S GO TO CHLOE'S AND HAVE A PARTY I'M FEELING GOOD ABOUT THIS VICTORY

 **Deck The Halls:** I'm gonna buy pizza!!!

 **succ:** aye, we'll be there soon

 

**[5 Member Groupchat]**

**mayo:** They have no idea. HawkMoth made that one easy to take them by surprise next time. I'm worried.

 **h:** Yeah, well. HawkMoth will regret the day he made that Akuma and that Akuma made us. He has no idea the enemies he's now made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOT IN A GROUPCHAT FIC!!! HEAVY PLOT BUT IT'S STILL KINDA FUNNY!!! I'M DOING THIS AND I'M BREAKING ALL SOCIAL NORMS BUT PLEASE BE INTERESTED IT'S COOL I SWEAR. ALSO KEEP WATCH ON THE SERIES THIS FIC IS IN BC I'LL BE MAKING PROBABLY ONE SHOTS TO COMPLIMENT THIS FIC TOO OKAY THANKS
> 
> So anyways their names are just gonna be shortened to Spotty, Blanc, Wasp, Tortue, and Kitsune but that's not even shortened. Call her Kit or Kitty idk whatever
> 
> also dw Secret Santa is still happening later


	21. simply,,, having,,, a woNDERFUL KRISMIS TIME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The really late Secret Santa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Candlelight was fun, but my girlfriend fainted during the second show and scared half my life away  
> yes ya girl has a girlfriend do you even know how much i love her im gay

**h:** simply

 **mayo:** having

 **gay:** a wonderful

 **succ:** christmas

 **boring:** time

 **Carol Of The Bells:** BEGONE

 **Deck The Halls:** time for secret santa!!!!

 **Deck The Halls:** we all left everyone's presents in their rooms right

 **Let It Snow:** yeah

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** I shouldnt be laughing but

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** I saw nino fall off a building because he was holding a present and couldnt grab the ledge and he didnt want to drop the gift

 **Last Christmas:** FUCK YOU I COULD'VE DIED

 **mayo:** fat mood

 **mayo:** lowkey I didnt know if my person had wht i got them so like you can sell it if you already have one @ my person

 **succ:** i actually think my gift is good

 **h:** ditto

 **boring:** so um I actually stole ninos phone and made an Instagram account and this originally had nothing to do with secret santa but

 **boring:** i saw some person's instagram and i followed them and when they accepted my request i saw they had hand made something really cool but also scary because they obviously know about the thing they made and only people with miraculous are supposed to know

 **boring:** and I convinced them to let me buy one of them and then I asked Wayzz if he knew why this american teenage girl knew about the thing and he said it was a long story but it was okay that she knew so yall dont have to freak out

 **Carol Of The Bells:** okay that was a very long story

 **Deck The Halls:** that giant wall of text gave me whiplash im suing

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** WAIT NO FUCKING WAY

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** TORTUE THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** THAT'S ACTUALLY REALLY COOL WHAT THE FUCK

 **h:** what the hell did you get him

 **boring:** hand made figurine of Plagg by that girl i saw on instagram

 **Let It Snow:** WHAT

 **Deck The Halls:** WHATS HER @ YOU SAID SHE MADE ALL THE KWAMIS RIGHT I WANNA SEE HER FIGURINE OF POLLEN

 **boring:** i think it's Bugadork or something

 **boring:** you might have to dig a little she spams memes a lot she has like 3000 posts

 **mayo:** hesus christ

 **gay:** oh hell yea fuck me UP

 **gay:** Marinette come over chloe gave me a fuck ton of nutella

 **Last Christmas:** NO

 **Last Christmas:** WE ARE NOT REPEATING THAT ONE TIME WHERE THEY FUCKING JOYRIDED AROUND PARIS AT 1 AM

 **Let It Snow:** oh come on that was such a banger

 **Last Christmas:** LADYBUG ALMOST RAN ME OVER

 **succ:** kek

 **succ:** okay wowowowowowow marinette is a goddess im saying it outright

 **succ:** she gave me a plush doll of Spotty which she clearly hand made

 **succ:** what a blessing

 **Carol Of The Bells:** holy shit.

 **Carol Of The Bells:** SPOTTY YOU DID FUCKING NOT

 **Carol Of The Bells:** WHAT THE FUCK IM SO DONE

 **h:** what

 **Carol Of The Bells:** SHE GOT ME A FUCKING 3DS WITH ULTRA SUN IN THE GAME SLOT

 **Deck The Halls:** um wtf thats really expensive

 **Carol Of The Bells:** goodbye you are never seeing me again

 **Carol Of The Bells:** im playing this forever

 **h:** hey um what the fuck there's an Akuma

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** of course there is

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** well I guess we have to fight

 **gay:** actually, chattyboi, nah

 **gay:** our turn.

 **succ:** yeah, you guys enjoy your gifts. this one's our akuma

 **mayo:** we'll bring you the akuma in a jar to purify when we win okay maribug okay bye

 **Deck The Halls:**????

 **Last Christmas:** hey should we be worried about them

 **Carol Of The Bells:** eh it'll be fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of bees infesting my school I do not feel S A F E  
> Also casually self inserts my Instagram hA H A  
> **LITTLE EDIT HEY I KNOW I DIDNT WRITE EVERYONE GETTING PRESENTS THAT'LL BE NEXT TIME OKAY THX


	22. Y E E T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yah yeet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relationships are whack. Thats the facts

**Let It Snow** : oh yike we're in trouble

 **Let It Snow:** kinda

 **Let It Snow** : the Inverse actually wrecked the Akuma then threatened the shit out of hawkdad

 **Let It Snow:** and then the big bitch made his face out of butterflies again and they had a roasting match

 **Let It Snow:** to which kitsune responded by obliterating his butterfly face

 **Let It Snow:** then the cops showed up and they split so hard

 **Let It Snow:** aka they're hiding out now and we gotta go find them

 **Carol Of The Bells:** okay so im one step ahead of you im actually in spots right now and talking to Officer Raincomprix

 **Carol Of The Bells:** Im trying to convince him they're on our side now

 **Carol Of The Bells:** hes not budging because its only me saying this so I NEED YOU ASSHOLES TO YEET THE FUCK OVER HERE

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** yeeting

 **Last Christmas:** yote

 **Deck The Halls:** yike yike yike we gotta go find them tho

 **Carol Of The Bells:** fucking later now YEET YOUR ASS

 **Last Christmas:** lmao im here first fuck all of you

 **h:** we didnt go back to your guys's places because we thought the fuzz was gonna track us back to you

 **h:** we'll come back when the cops trust us

 **Let It Snow:** well you heard it here first folks

 **succ:** whats with all the usage of yeet in this conversation

 **Carol Of The Bells:** bitch I need all yall here to get this man to believe me

 **boring:** I have some concerns

 **Deck The Halls:** oh wow lb, cara and the officer are having a yelling match in the middle of public this is good

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** well this'll be good

 **h:** ...

 **h:** i think theyre all gone

 **h:** do we have the dad

 **boring:** we have the dad

 **succ:** theyre gonna murder us dead if we release the dad

 **mayo:** we're doing it anyway

 **mayo:** YEET

**_'mayo' has added user 'What Is This.' to the chat._ **

**gay:** ITS HIM

 **h:** AHAHAHAHAHA

 **boring:** oh what the fuck

 **What Is This.:** I am very disturbed about the vulgar language in this discussion room.

 **mayo:** d i s c u s s i o n  r o o m

 **mayo:** it's called a chat room dad

 **Let It Snow:** BITCH IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS

 **Let It Snow:** NO WAY YOU GUYS DID NOT

 **What Is This.:**...Why are all of your internet names random words or... Christmas songs?

 **Let It Snow:** scREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **gay:** oh nice we broke Rena

 **succ:** lol when the rest come back that'll be a party

 **What Is This.:** Why did I let you Inverse Bastards talk me into this.

 **h:** because we threatened the fucking shit out of you and you got scared.

 **What Is This.:** You unnerved me. I am not scared of a couple of magic-spawned mistakes in the forms of teenagers.

 **boring:** wow dad's got some fire

 **What Is This.:** And stop calling me dad.

 **gay:** okay we would, but you technically created us by mistake, but you still created us so you're still our dad in technical terms

 **What Is This.:** I have never wished harder for a child who'd listen to me.

 **mayo:** y IKES

 **Carol Of The Bells:** what.

 **Carol Of The Bells:** the FUCK DID YOU ADD HAWKMOTH FOR

 **succ:** oh hey lb.

 **What Is This.:** I see all of Paris' superheroes have dirty mouths.

 **Carol Of The Bells:** MAN WE BULLY YOU FOR MONTHS TRYNA GET YOU TO JOIN OUR FUCKING CHAT AND THE INVERSE FUCKING BREATHE IN YOUR DIRECTION AND YOU PISS YOUR DAMN PANTS

 **What Is This.:** Alright, it seems I have to teach you teens some manners.

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** oh my god it's hawkdaddy.

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** can we all call you dad pls

 **What Is This.:** STOP CALLING ME DAD. I AM NOT YOUR FATHER.

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** lol bet

 **Deck The Halls:** WOW IM SO OFFENDED I BRING BACK MY BULLYING SKILLS FOR NOTHING

 **h:** where's carapace

 **Carol Of The Bells:** he's taking to Raincomprix, apparently he'll only listen to the wise one and not the team leader

 **h:** tragic.

 **What Is This.:** So my children are truly deflected to my enemy's side.

 **mayo:** INVERSE SQUAD CONFIRMED CHILDREN OF HAWKDADDY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally forgot where I was going with the plot point so I fucked around  
> But in all seriousness fuck relationships  
> Actually just. Fuck shitty toxic people. I basically got emotionally played.
> 
> oh fuck i just realized I started calling Nino Carapace when I said I was sticking to Jade Turtle. ah well.


	23. dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dad

**h:** dad

 **mayo:** dad

 **boring:** dad

 **succ:** dad

 **gay:** dad

 **Let It Snow:** hawkdad

 **Last Christmas:** hawkdad

 **Carol Of The Bells:** hawkdad

 **Deck The Halls:** hawkdad

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** hawkdad

 **h:** ᵈᵃᵈ

 **gay:** dₐd

 **mayo:** ｏｎｌｙ ｄａｄ ｃａｎ ｓｕｓｔａｉｎ ｍｅ

 **Carol Of The Bells:** okay fuck dad he's not answering

 **h:** ᴮᵁᵀ ᴰᴬᴰ

 **gay:** !тṧ ℵ✺т ḟṳℵ ω!тℏ✺ṳт ᖱᾰᖱᖱ⑂

 **Last Christmas:** okay what the fuck are these fonts

 **What Is This.:** Can you brats be quiet. I have work to do.

 **Carol Of The Bells:** HAWKDADDY HAS A JOB!!!!

 **Deck The Halls:** did we all forget that he's like a regular man without the miraculous

 **mayo:** dad can we have a picture of your Kwami

 **Let It Snow:**!!!! I WANNA SEE WHAT NOOROO LOOKS LIKE

 **What Is This.:** No! I am working!

 **succ:** #FreeNooroo2018

 **boring:** FREE HIM

 **Jingle Bell Rock:** _F R E E  H I M_

  _ **'**_ ** _Jingle Bell Rock' has renamed themselves to 'FREEHIM'.  
_**

**What Is This.:** Fine. Fine. AFTER I AM DONE WORKING. I have a very important assignment to plan.

 **gay:** glad to know we have a dad that's very passionate about his career choice

 **h:** office worker by day. gay ass butterfly villain by night.

 **What Is This.:** I am not gay. I have a son and I... had a wife. She's gone.

 **Last Christmas:** oh.

 **Carol Of The Bells:** this got really sad really quick wow.

 **FREEHIM:**... is that why you want mine and lb's miraculous? Because you want to use the wish to bring her back?

 **What Is This.:** I do not think you would believe me if I confirmed that, Chat Noir.

 **Let It Snow:** personally i don't because you could be lying but still, sorry about your wife

 **Let It Snow:** we're enemies and all but i dont think its very mature to still give you shit about your villainy as much now that youve told us this

 **Deck The Halls:** you're still terrorizing the city but i suppose thats for a good cause. my mom disappeared a long time ago and i don't think my dad ever recovered

 **FREEHIM:** my mom's gone too.

 **mayo:** yall arent actually planning to assist this man are you

 **mayo:** like no offense your wife could be dead and shit but i dont think she'd approve of you possessing people and manipulating them to try and steal shit from teenagers who you could end up harming

 **What Is This.:** You are probably right. I have never made the best choices and this is no exception. I did not know where the guardian was, where your miraculous were, and even if I had known I did not think the guardian would approve of my plan.

 **Last Christmas:** Wayzz doesn't approve period

 **Last Christmas:** pro tip im the guardian now and i dont trust you.

 **What Is This.:** I would not expect you to, Carapace.

 **h:** i feel so out of place in this conversation wow

 **h:** none of us can even do shit in the grand scheme of things considering we arent even human we're just physical manifestations of our mistake miraculous

 **boring:** thats an interesting thought

 **boring:** would spotty and blanc's powers work the same way as lb's and noir's when combined?

 **Carol Of The Bells:** that's

 **Carol Of The Bells:** that's actually a really good question

 **What Is This.:** I am going to assume that you will not even test this possibility either.

 **gay:** how the shit would that work though other people cant use our miraculous thats literally us

 **succ:** could we technically act like Kwamis though

 **succ:** we were kinda stuck inactive in our miraculous for five months before we said fuck it lets be alive again

 **What Is This.:** I am starting to regret being talked into this chat room a little less. You heroes do pose interesting theories.

 **Carol Of The Bells:** well im not comfortable on testing any of these out right now

 **Carol Of The Bells:** communication aside youre still our enemy and you wont bend to our rules even if we asked nicely

 **What Is This.:** Well... perhaps we could reach an agreement in the future.

 **Let It Snow:** OOH? ARE WE SLOWLY TURNING HAWKDADDY GOOD? FIND OUT NEXT AT 10

 **gay:** Rena omg you just ruined the air of maturity

 **Let It Snow:** fucking worth it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dad


	24. why is this alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey im alive i guess fuCK me go to the end notes for my Discord and Instagram links tho

**mayo:** have you ever looked at a married woman and thought about how many unborn children she might have swallowed

 **h:** IM GOING TO SLIT YOUR THROAT WHAT THE FUCK

 **What Is This.** : Alright how do I exit from this discussion room.

 **mayo:** no dad stay it's just horrible post time

 **succ:** you are like little baby

 **succ:** watch this

 **succ:**?play Lesbian Ladybugs

_**Astolfo:** _ _"Lesbian Ladybugs" has now been added to the queue!_

**h:** WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

 **h:** WHEN DID WE GET A MUSIC BOT

 **Carol Of The Bells:** I added it since it was boring but I definitely didnt want this please delete

 **mayo:** oNE OF THE LADYUBGS HAVE A PENIS

 **mayo:** A STRAP ON PENIS

 **Carol Of The Bells:** BLANC WHAT THE FUCK.

 **Last Christmas** **:** I literally hate you all what the fuck are we listening to

 **h:** give me a minute and we can be listening to Spotty dying a slow and irreversible death.

 **mayo:** hey can you not

 **h:** MAKE ME

 **mayo:** that's the biggest bottom energy I've ever seen

 **h:** excuse me??? bitch im a solid top

 **mayo:** okay how about this

 **mayo:** LB is a bottom. Chat's a switch. Rena is a top, Carapace is a switch. Queen's a switch too. I'm a switch. Blanc's a bottom. Kitsune... okay I don't know what Kitsune is but moving on

 **Carol Of The Bells:** I dont like that you exposed my bottom energy

 **mayo:** Tortue is a switch and Fury is a bottom done

 **Let It Snow:** hell yeah im a top Carapace can tell you all about it

 **h:** disgusting.

 **Last Christmas:** what's hawkmoth

 **mayo:** bottom. end of story.

 **succ:** i mean

 **succ:** no yeah he's a bottom

 **succ:** Bleu Paon probably put him in his place real good

 **What Is This.:** You're all grounded.

 **mayo:** THAT MEANS WERE R I G  H T

 **FREEHIM:** hey what the fuck

 **FREEHIM:** why am i not a top

 **mayo:** huney let's be real as much as LB's a bottom you'd love her to ride your dick and dominate you

 **Carol Of The Bells:** CHOKES

_**Astolfo:** _ _Queue is finished!_

**succ:** ?play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPt4tMP6qWo &list=PLPfHaI9XqTnFzvCP_YHvVE6l8al2gdzvB

**_Astolfo:_ ** _The playlist Detroit Become Human (Original Soundtrack) has been added to the queue._

**succ:** anyway

 **Last Christmas:** sub boys in the house apparently

 **Let It Snow:** honestly I see Queenie as more of a top but switch can work i guess

 **Deck The Halls:** mmmmmmm im not gonna even talk about this anything i say will make it worse

 **Let It Snow:** I N T E R E S T I N G

 **boring:** im not gonna argue tbh switch fits me

 **gay:** oh wouldnt you LOVE to know my sex position. BDSM. thats it

 **FREEHIM:** ugly sobbing

 **Carol Of The Bells:** god i hate this chat so much sometimes

 **What Is This.:** Master is very frustrated and told me to talk for him instead. I'm Nooroo, I'm assuming you all are the Miraculous Heroes?

 **FREEHIM:** oh my GOD???

 **FREEHIM:** NOOROO HUNEY WE'LL SAVE YOU SOON ENOUGH

 **Carol Of The Bells:** BABY,,,

 **What Is This.:** Nevermind, you're not allowed to talk to my Kwami.

 **FREEHIM:** NO

 **FREEHIM:** FREE HIM

 **FREEHIM:** _FREE HIM_

 **mayo:** lol this is what we get for calling him a bottom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> discord.gg/7ycmMMZ  
> Instagram.com/Bugadork  
> have fun


	25. garbage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> typing in all lowercase is gay energy

**Carol Of The Bells** : hey just so you know fucj you all Blanc is my favorite now

 **FREEHIM** : D:

 **Let It Snow** : LadyBlanc

 **succ** : i cannot believe the rest of you havent heard of the god that is EDEN

 **gay** : who the fuck is EDEN sounds like a solid power bottom

 **Carol Of The Bells** : uuuuhhhh the best singer??? im learning english because of his songs

 **succ** : i would orgasm to his songs

 **mayo** : and yet you'd never orgasm to me

 **h** : D I E

 **Carol Of The Bells** : repressed giggling

 **FREEHIM** : gonna go look this man up just because mlady loves him

 **Carol Of The Bells** : <333

 **succ** : caUSE I AINT SCARED OF LIVIN

 **succ** : Rock + Roll is his best song change my mind

 **Carol Of The Bells** : Drugs

 **succ** : okay valid

 **Let It Snow** : out of context it looks like LB just offered drugs to Blanc but im guessing thats a song name

 **Carol Of The Bells** : heg kid

 **Carol Of The Bells** : hey kid

 **Carol Of The Bells** : wanna buy some drugs

 **mayo** : ill bite whatcha sellin

 **Carol Of The Bells** : wood chips

 **Carol Of The Bells** : biggest trip of the century

 **Carol Of The Bells** : eat them and they'll rip your throat and you'll be high as fuck on morphone the hospital gives you

 **mayo** : morphone

 **FREEHIM** : babe did you get into the nutella again

 **gay** : RENA TOLD ME THAT STORY AND IM SO MAD I WASN'T ALIVE TO SEE THAT SHIT

 **Deck The Halls** : omg sis,,, i pity u,,,

 **gay** : ugh yall snapped

 **Carol Of The Bells** : im fuckign S C R E A M I N G

 **succ** : the bone bone bonected bone the bone bone

 **Carol Of The Bells** : teeth meat! teeth meat!

 **succ** : bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone

 **FREEHIM** : what the fuck is happening

 **succ** : OH MY GUCJING GOD GUYS

 **succ** : guys

 **succ** : turns out we're all morons

 **succ** : we have kwams

 **Carol Of The Bells** : kwams

 **FREEHIM** : WHAT

 **mayo** : WHAT

 **h** : ????!?!?!?

 **mayo** : CUNT CAT TELL ME HOW 

 **succ** : LB dared me to take off my ring 

 **succ** : im hanging with her btw contextextext

 **succ** : so like I did

 **succ** : and my suit's fuckign gone and I have a kwami and LB is screaming her head off

 **succ** : I am a carbon copy of Noir not even gonna lie except I have purple eyes as a standard which i dont think is possiblr so my bitchass still cant fit in

 **Carol Of The Bells** : HE'S PLAGG BUT WHITE WITH MAGENTA EYES AND HIS NAME IS OKUFF AND HES FUCKING PURE AS SHIT

 **What Is This.** : The Inverse have Kwamis?

 **succ** : hey dad

 **succ** : yeah Okuff doesnt know why he exists

 **succ** : hes really confused hes saying hes another part of me

 **Carol Of The Bells** : UPDATE SPOTTY FUCKIGN CRASHED STRAIGHT THROUGH MY FUCKIGN WINDOW WHILE SCREAMING AND YANKED HER EARRINGS OFF

 **succ** : oh hey reverse Tikki

 **FREEHIM** : im coming over there what the fuvk

 **mayo** : HER NAME IS SEJJE!!!

 **mayo** : also yep im a carbon copy of LB but i have yellow eyes tm

 **gay** : interesting

 **gay** : so mine's called Usoyy

 **gay** : he has a nose

 **gay** : like an actual fox ass nose

 **gay** : kwamis dont have noses why does he have a nose????

 **Carol Of The Bells** : girl what

 **gay** : bitch gotta SNOUT

 **What Is This.** : Nooroo feels the wavelength of your Kwamis, he says. He doesn't know why you all had permanent transformation before, but he says now transformations will work normally. Meaning you can't be in suit 24/7. Making it easier for me.

 **succ** : you really still tryna snatch our miraculous wigs old man

 **Carol Of The Bells** : wheres tortue n shit they've been absent this whole convo

 **h** : my kwamis name is Qummio

 **h** : he immediately demanded i feed him kiwi

 **h** : so i guess i have to carry kiwi all the damn time

 **h** : also general statement im basically Queenie with brown eyes

 **gay** : same for me with Rena but I also have purple eyes

 **gay** : porple

 **succ** : EY PURPLE EYE SQUAD

 **Carol Of The Bells** : Tikki and Sejje are bullying Okuff im laughing

 **FREEHIM** : PLAGG IS COMIN TO THE RESCUE BITCH

 **mayo** : JSKSKJRT

 **succ** : NOIR JUST CRASHED THROUGH THE SAME WINDOW SPOTTY DID THE WINDOW IS SO BROKEn

 **What Is This.** : That is my cue to leave. I have work to do.

 **succ** : BYE DAD!! LUV U!!!!

 **h** : Qummio is a very no bullshit wasp

 **mayo** : o yeh!!!

 **mayo** : Sejje is a beetle

 **Carol Of The Bells** : suck my NUTT theres more bug kwamis now

 **Let It Snow** : GAY BITCH SHOWED ME HER NOSE KWAMI WERE COMING OVER BTW

 **gay** : it feels so odd having limited transformation

 **FREEHIM** : lowkey can we bring the Inverse to school now they can be out of suit

 **FREEHIM** : we can give them different names and shit and leave the twinning to pure coincidence

 **Carol Of The Bells** : probably a dumb idea

 **Carol Of The Bells** : lets do it

 **Let It Snow** : or

 **Let It Snow** : we could let them fill in for us if we're sick

 **FREEHIM** : GENIUS.

 **boring** : WAIT WTF WE HAVE KWAMIS

 **h** : lol turtle slow as fuck as usual 

 **boring:** im fighting all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kwami time  
> Follow me on Instagram @Bugadork lol  
> See you all in another 3 fucjing months


End file.
